Dealing with Gen Z and Gen Alpha

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I was sitting with my son, trying to explain why studying is important. He belongs to Generation Alpha. He listened quietly, but he didn’t respond or ask any questions. It felt as if my words were not reaching him.

That made me realize the problem wasn’t that he was refusing to listen. The problem was that he wasn’t connecting with the way I was communicating.

Generation Alpha—children born after 2010—has grown up in a world filled with smartphones, tablets, AI, and instant access to information. Compared to Generation Z, they are even more comfortable interacting with technology than with people.

I noticed this difference in my own home. Even though I’m a software engineer who spends nearly 18 hours a day in front of a computer, I still prefer typing my searches into Google, YouTube, or AI tools. Voice commands don’t feel natural to me.

My daughter, on the other hand, never thinks twice. Before she could even write properly or start school, she was already telling YouTube with her voice to play her favorite cartoons. For her, speaking to technology is completely natural.

This made me rethink how I communicate with my children.

Instead of giving instructions, I should ask questions.

Instead of speaking most of the time, I should spend more time listening.

When people are asked thoughtful questions, they begin to reveal what they think, what they believe, and what is happening in their minds. Once we understand their perspective, our advice becomes more meaningful because it connects with their reality instead of ours.

One lesson stands out above all others:

Before we try to teach our children, we must first understand them.

As parents, we also need to remove the “dust” of our own experiences. The world we grew up in is very different from the world our children are growing up in. The methods that worked for us may not always work for them.

Generation Z and Generation Alpha are different from previous generations. They don’t simply accept instructions because someone older said so. They want discussion. They want to understand the purpose behind a task. They need to know not only what they should do, but also why it matters and how it will benefit them.

Key Takeaways

  • Ask questions instead of immediately giving instructions.
  • Listen first; understanding comes before teaching.
  • Don’t assume your experiences are the same as theirs.
  • Encourage open discussions rather than one-way lectures.
  • Explain the purpose and benefits behind every important task.
  • Build trust through conversation, not authority.

Understanding comes before influence. When children feel heard, they become far more willing to listen.

Learn from the mistake

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Today, I was in a meeting, and I realized I wasn’t prepared for my topic. No one embarrassed me, but I felt embarrassed. It wasn’t because of what others said—it was because I knew I could have done better.

Then I reminded myself that I had just joined this team. This was my first project with them. Naturally, they would discuss things I was still learning. Even so, I missed an opportunity to contribute, and that feeling stayed with me.

We all make mistakes in life. A mistake only remains a mistake if we refuse to learn from it. The moment we reflect on it and improve ourselves, it becomes a lesson. Every setback can become a stepping stone.

Life gives us countless opportunities. If we pay full attention to the present moment and prepare ourselves well, we won’t miss the next opportunity when it arrives.

This experience taught me that success requires two things: preparation and presence.

Preparation means doing the work before the moment arrives—reading every document, making notes, understanding the project, and being ready for any discussion. Confidence is often the result of preparation.

Presence means giving 100% of yourself to the moment you are in. When your mind is busy worrying about the past or imagining what others think about you, you lose the opportunity that is right in front of you.

During the meeting, I was too conscious of what others might be thinking about me. But later I realized something important: perhaps no one noticed my silence as much as I did. We are often our own harshest critics.

The good news is that I still have time. If I learn from this experience and prepare myself well, the situation will not become worse. In fact, I can turn it around. People may say that the first impression is the last impression, but consistent effort, competence, and dedication can change how others see us. Perception is not fixed; it evolves with our actions.

So, I made two commitments to myself.

First, I will live fully in the present moment. Whatever life throws at me, I will face it with complete attention instead of fear. I cannot control every situation, but I can control how present I am.

Second, I will always be prepared. I will study every document, make detailed notes, and understand my work deeply so that whenever a project-related discussion comes up, I can contribute with confidence.

Human beings are remarkable not because they never fail, but because they can recognize their mistakes, reflect on them, learn from them, and become better.

Today was not a failure. It was a reminder.

Be prepared.

Be present.

Give your 100%.

The next opportunity is already on its way.

Life happen every day

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Life happens every day.

The other day, I was sitting in my office. At the moment, there isn’t much work on my desk because our project is still in the analysis phase, and I am part of that process. With nothing urgent to do, my mind began to wander.

It drifted into the past.

I started asking myself many questions. Why did certain things happen to me? Why did people behave the way they did? Why was I treated that way?

Later, another thought appeared.

This time it was about my son.

What will happen to him? He isn’t studying seriously. He doesn’t seem focused on his education. As he is my only son, I couldn’t stop imagining what his future might look like.

Without realizing it, I spent the whole day traveling between the past and the future—replaying old memories and worrying about things that had not yet happened.

Then I remembered something that Zen teaches.

Zen is beautifully simple. It is not about complicated rituals or endless philosophical discussions. It is about direct experience. It reminds us to stay in the present moment, to live consciously, and to act with intention.

When we are fully present, we naturally make better decisions. We give our complete attention to what we are doing right now. If we continue acting consciously today, tomorrow will largely take care of itself. Worrying about the future rarely improves it, but acting wisely in the present often does.

The past is different.

It is only a collection of memories. We cannot return to it or live there again. We can only learn from it.

When painful memories keep returning, perhaps the best response is not to fight them but simply to observe them. Our mind may not be trying to torture us. It may simply be warning us:

“This happened once. Be careful that it doesn’t happen again.”

I have experienced this while programming.

Whenever I face a difficult technical problem, memories of previous failures sometimes come back. I remember the frustration, the stress, and the feeling that I had no solution.

At first, those memories make me anxious.

But then I remind myself that they are not predictions of failure—they are reminders of experience. They tell me where I struggled before, so I can approach the problem differently this time. Instead of becoming trapped by those memories, I use them as lessons.

I once came across a quote often attributed to the Buddha:

Someone asked, “We all have to die one day.”

The Buddha replied, “No. We die only once. We live every day.”

Whether or not these were the Buddha’s exact words, the message is powerful.

We often become obsessed with the fact that one day we will die. Since death is inevitable, we sometimes forget that life is happening right now.

The truth is that we die only once.

But we are given the opportunity to live every single day.

That realization changes everything.

Instead of asking, “How much time do I have left?” perhaps the better question is, “How fully did I live today?”

If I live each day with awareness, do meaningful work, love the people around me, learn continuously, and become a better person than I was yesterday, then I have already lived a complete life.

When that day finally comes, I hope I will have no regrets.

Because if I have truly lived every day, I will not need another life to feel complete.

You Are Responsible for Your Actions, Not for Another Person’s Mind

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Many times in life, we struggle because the results of our actions do not match our expectations. We do our best, yet people react in ways we never intended. At those moments, we begin to wonder, “Am I responsible for what is going on in another person’s mind?”

For a long time, I believed that if someone felt uncomfortable because of me, then I must be responsible for it. Over time, however, I realized that this is only partly true.

Our words and actions create situations, but they do not completely determine how other people think, feel, or behave. Every person interprets the world through the lens of their own experiences, beliefs, values, fears, and expectations. The same action can produce completely different reactions in different people.

I experienced this at my workplace.

The office had a relaxed and friendly environment. As a newcomer, I was naturally curious and would often look around while walking through the workspace, trying to familiarize myself with the office and the people. Later, I noticed that a few female colleagues seemed uncomfortable when I was nearby. Some changed where they sat, avoided eye contact, or appeared uneasy.

When I became aware of this, I reflected on my own behavior. I realized that although I had no inappropriate intention, my habit of looking around the office might have been interpreted differently. So I changed what was within my control. While walking through the office, I focused only on where I was going. When speaking with someone, I looked at their face or at the work being discussed instead of letting my eyes wander.

Making that change was my responsibility because my behavior was within my control.

But another question remained: Am I responsible for how other people think about me?

I don’t believe so.

People’s thoughts and feelings are influenced by far more than my actions. They are shaped by their personal experiences, upbringing, cultural expectations, previous encounters, and individual perceptions. I cannot control those things, nor should I try.

What I can control is my own conduct. I can be respectful, considerate, and professional. If I discover that one of my habits unintentionally makes others uncomfortable, I can change that habit. But once I have acted with integrity and corrected what is within my control, I must let go of what is not.

This is an important distinction.

I am responsible for my intentions, my words, and my actions.

I am not responsible for every thought, assumption, emotion, or judgment that another person forms about me.

Understanding this difference brings peace. It allows us to improve ourselves without carrying the impossible burden of managing other people’s minds.

Why implementation of knowledge is important

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Have you ever noticed that raw iron has almost no value?

It’s just a lump of metal pulled from the earth.

But when a blacksmith heats it, removes the impurities, shapes it, and forges it into a sword, a tool, or a machine part—its value increases dramatically.

Why?

Because value is created through knowledge, effort, and application.

The same principle applies to wisdom.

Today, we have access to thousands of books, podcasts, videos, and philosophies. But simply knowing something doesn’t change your life.

Knowledge alone has no value. Applied knowledge does.

Taoism teaches us to flow with life instead of constantly fighting reality.

Zen teaches us to be fully present in this moment, not trapped in regrets about the past or anxiety about the future.

Stoicism teaches us to focus on what we can control and let go of what we cannot.

These ideas sound powerful—and they are.

But they remain just words until you practice them.

Reading about patience doesn’t make you patient.

Learning about discipline doesn’t make you disciplined.

Understanding wisdom is not the same as living it.

Just as raw iron becomes valuable through fire and craftsmanship, wisdom becomes valuable only when it is forged into action.

Don’t just collect knowledge. Transform it into behavior. That’s where real value is created.

The Power of Choosing a Few Things

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I want to do many things in life.

I want to become fluent in AI tools. I want to learn Python so I can build my own AI agents. I want to improve my communication skills. I want to read books and study material that help me grow. I want to learn sales and self-development so I can become a better pre-sales engineer. I want to write every day to become a stronger writer. I want to create YouTube videos.

The truth is, I can do many things—but I cannot do everything.

Time is limited.

As I enter what may be my final working decade, I feel the weight of that reality more than ever. Every new interest competes for the same finite hours.

This is where Stoic philosophy offers an important reminder: focus on what matters and what is within your control.

We cannot control how much time we have, but we can control where we direct our attention.

As Seneca wrote:

“It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it.”

He also warned:

“To be everywhere is to be nowhere.”

Even though I understand the shortness of time and the importance of setting priorities, my mind still wants to do everything at once.

This is where Buddhist philosophy comes to mind.

Much of our suffering comes from attachment—including attachment to the idea that we must do everything, learn everything, and become everything.

Letting go of that attachment creates space for clarity.

The power of focusing on a few meaningful actions is also reflected in Islamic teachings. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

“The most beloved deeds to Allah are those that are consistent, even if they are small.”

The lesson is simple: consistency matters more than intensity.

I do not need to chase every opportunity or master every skill.

Instead, I need to detach myself from outcomes, choose a few priorities, and invest my limited time in them consistently.

Most importantly, I should focus on the skills that align with my profession and long-term purpose. When my learning supports my work, each effort strengthens the others.

Less scattered effort. More meaningful progress.

The goal is not to do everything.

The goal is to do the right things—well.

Falling forward

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I recently heard a quote from Denzel Washington about “falling forward.” At first, I was confused by the idea. What does it mean to fall forward? And what would it mean to fall backward?

To me, falling backward happens when we experience failure or adversity but learn nothing from it. Instead of reflecting on what went wrong, we complain about the unfairness of life or blame other people for our circumstances. As a result, we repeat the same mistakes and remain stuck where we are.

Life is full of challenges, failures, disappointments, and setbacks. Yet many people spend more energy searching for someone to blame than searching for a lesson to learn. When we refuse to learn from failure, failure becomes wasted experience.

More than 2,000 years ago, Marcus Aurelius wrote that what stands in the way can become part of the way. Obstacles can become teachers. Difficulties can become opportunities. But this only happens when we accept responsibility for our lives, acknowledge our mistakes, and honestly examine what went wrong.

Learning from failure does not always mean trying the same thing over and over again. Sometimes quitting is the wiser choice. It makes little sense to keep digging a well in dry land where there is no water. Persistence is valuable, but blind persistence is not. We should not continue down a path simply because it is traditional or familiar.

Falling forward is a mindset. It means that every failure, rejection, or setback contains a lesson that can help us move forward. One failed attempt does not mean the world is over. If one path does not work, we can try another. If necessary, we can change direction, improve our approach, learn from our mistakes, and begin again with greater wisdom.

In this way, even when we fall, we are still moving forward.

Between Struggle and Stillness

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While sitting alone in my room, I try to bring meditation into my daily life. Life is truly difficult. Challenges keep appearing one after another — my motorcycle engine oil is leaking even after spending money to fix it, the expenses of raising a teenage son, his lack of focus on studies, people ignoring you, and situations that make you feel small and worthless. Yet somehow, I am still surviving.

Financial struggles are another heavy burden. But even then, I keep moving forward. I struggle, focus on what I can control, set goals, and put effort into the next action in front of me. Again and again, I remind myself of Amor Fati and what the Gita teaches: detach yourself from the outcome and focus only on your actions. These ideas help me keep going.

There is a book called The Practicing Mind. It explains that no one can master a musical instrument by practicing only a few times. A musician may repeat the same tune fifty times a day before being able to perform it beautifully on stage. During practice, the mind keeps making noise — telling us to stop, to do something else, to escape discomfort. Many times, we become bored, restless, and frustrated, yet we continue practicing anyway.

Maybe that is the real lesson of life: stay with the present moment, focus on what needs to be done, and keep practicing your path, no matter how noisy the mind becomes.

Focus on whats matter.

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One of the simplest yet most powerful ideas I learned from Stoicism is this: focus on what you can control.

Interestingly, this idea was always around me. In Buddhism too, there are teachings about detachment, acceptance, and awareness. But over time, many traditions became more religious and complex in their expression. Stoicism presented the same wisdom in a much simpler and more practical way.

I also came across a similar idea in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. He explains it through the concept of the “Circle of Influence” and the “Circle of Concern.”

The Circle of Influence contains the things we can change, improve, or directly impact. The Circle of Concern includes the things we worry about but cannot truly control.

Most people waste their energy in the Circle of Concern — politics, other people’s opinions, the past, or the uncertain future. But growth begins when we focus our attention on the Circle of Influence.

I often wonder whether Covey’s idea was also influenced, directly or indirectly, by Stoic philosophy. The similarity is striking. Thinkers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius repeatedly emphasized the same principle: some things are within our control, and some are not. Wisdom lies in knowing the difference.